There is a particular kind of discomfort that comes from stepping out of a defined role into something open-ended. Not the discomfort of failure. The discomfort of not knowing exactly what the shape of success looks like yet.
I started consulting in February. It was not a dramatic decision. It was more of a quiet one: I had been thinking about it for a while, the timing felt right, and something in me knew it was time to stop waiting for conditions to be perfect before deciding.
What I did not expect was how much the transition would teach me about my own assumptions. In a permanent role, there is always a structure around you: a team, a roadmap, a set of problems that belong to you. That structure is useful. It is also, I realised, something you can hide behind.
Not knowing what comes next forces a different kind of honesty.
The first few weeks felt like learning to read a room again. Each engagement is a new context, a new set of people, a new problem to understand before trying to help with it. You cannot show up with answers. You have to show up with questions, and be comfortable staying with uncertainty longer than feels natural.
I think that is what I was looking for, without quite knowing it. Not the uncertainty itself, but what it requires of you.